After a painful breakup, 28-year-old Mikaela Wild, a social media content strategist in Los Angeles, sat on her couch, phone in hand. Wary of bombarding a friend and without a therapist to consult, she opened ChatGPT and plugged in a summary of her three-year relationship, concluding with the question, “Why didn’t things work out?”
What followed were several exchanges in which she processed her relationship not with a human, but with artificial intelligence.
Wild isn’t alone. Whether they’re crafting emotionally intelligent texts, roleplaying tough conversations, or providing advice in moments of uncertainty, chatbots like ChatGPT, Replika, and Gemini are playing an increasingly prominent role in the way people navigate their romantic lives. And so, a question emerges: What happens to love, intimacy, and emotional growth when our most vulnerable moments are processed with machines?
Orange County-based dating and relationship coach Kimberly Rae says she’s seeing a noticeable shift in how clients seek guidance. “I have conversations with clients every day about AI, and how they’re using it for their dating profiles or to draft a ‘Hey, this isn’t working’ text.”
While Rae believes that AI can be a useful tool, she warns that it can also stymie true intimacy. “At a certain point it can become a crutch, because it takes away your real voice and your authenticity,” she says. “Relationships are built on raw, in-the-moment exchanges, not perfectly curated dialogue. And the more we polish our words, we’re just gonna risk more emotional distance.”
A 2024 survey by Wingmate—the AI-powered dating assistant—found that 41% of young adults have used AI to initiate a breakup, with women being slightly more likely than men to utilize the tool. Additionally, 57% of young adults said they’d trust AI over a friend for relationship and dating advice. Whether it’s for scripting texts, decoding mixed signals, or simulating closure, AI is fast becoming the preferred confidant of a whole generation of daters.
When 33-year-old Nicole Matteson, an inside sales representative in Bend, Oregon, went through a breakup in June, she deliberately avoided going to close friends for advice, thinking their feedback would be biased. Instead, she went to ChatGPT, which she says helped her to reframe the situation and recognize behavioral patterns, attachment styles, and dynamics she had not previously considered. ”If my ex and I were having a random argument or if I felt I misunderstood something, I would take that information, put it into ChatGPT, and be like, ‘Help me break this down.’” In response, she says that ChatGPT gave her a logical, nuanced perspective on a situation that had confused her. “I feel like it’s helped me understand myself a lot more, which in turn has helped me to communicate more effectively,” says Matteson.
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