Dear And Just Like That…,
Even though I haven’t loved you the way I loved the old you, I couldn’t quit you—there was way too much history between us. Remember the old days, when you were fleet and funny and anticipated trends instead of reflecting them? You still had so much potential: well-honed characterizations by a crack team of seasoned actors, and a budget big enough to spring for both state-of-the-art wardrobes and Patti LuPone.
Today brought news that you are sadly leaving us, but I’m not ready to let go just yet. And so, herewith, some what-could-have-been AJLT storylines for Carrie and the gang. As I wrote them, I couldn’t help but wonder: Someday, will there be a thing known as a re-reboot?
1. More on menopause
I’m not the first person to point out that menopause has been an overlooked topic on AJLT, Charlotte’s flash-period mortification notwithstanding (Season 1, “No Strings Attached”). For starters, another season could have based an episode around one of the leads’ experience with the hormone patch; if any of them are having regular sex, then they are probably hiding an estrogen patch somewhere beneath their couture. The SATC franchise has always been centered on women who want to look great, and that’s trickier when the grayish residue from the previous week’s patch is gunking up your thigh.
2. A word on sex after menopause
Another menopause-related opportunity: Without Samantha around to talk about the dreary, diminished-libido aspect of menopause (see Sex and the City 2), one of the last SATC women standing would do it. Just as SATC was partly about having good sex in one’s 30s, AJLT would be more about having good sex in one’s 50s, or at least trying to. Menopausees will tell you that casual-sex-having late-50-something Miranda is not behaving like a postmenopausal woman—unless her OB-GYN has prescribed her a motherlode of testosterone to shore up her libido. Is that what happened? In Season 4, we’d finally get the episode.
3. An about-face on attractiveness
Sure, the female leads feel fabulous, but do they feel beautiful? Perhaps the writers would do something with the girls’ undoubtedly mixed feelings about the fact that as they gallivant around New York, they probably don’t attract the male gaze the way they used to. AJLT loves a callback, so maybe Miranda would cross paths with another woman-harassing man dressed as a sandwich (SATC, Season 3, “Running with Scissors”), except that this time, the costumed letch is ignoring her in favor of a younger woman. Surely this would make Miranda feel…something? And say…something? Relatedly:
4. A moment for treatments (or tweakments)
Remember when Samantha messed up her face with a chemical peel right before Carrie’s book launch (SATC, Season 5, “Plus One Is the Loneliest Number”)? Aging does have a way of prodding people to go to great lengths to recapture their youthfulness, so maybe we’d get some of that. In AJLT’s “Diwali,” Carrie was considering surgical intervention before apparently begging off. Could the writers think of other temptations, some more sketchy-sounding than others? (And you know that I mean vaginal rejuvenation, right?)
5. Marching orders
Picture this: an episode that sees the girls fume about the repeal of Roe v. Wade. The five of them—yes, even Seema—get on a bus to DC for a reproductive-rights march. AJLT got Gloria Steinem to do a cameo in Season 2 (“Alive!”); perhaps they’d get her to do another one, with some of her telegenic second-wave friends: Marlo Thomas, Letty Cottin Pogrebin, and so on. Speaking of cameos…
6. A return to Enid
In SATC, the intergenerational tension between Candice Bergen’s Enid and Carrie was spectacular: funny, squirm-makingly awkward, and truly moving on occasion. There was so much more to be done with the idea that Carrie is now approximately the age that Enid was when Enid considered Carrie a threat (SATC, Season 6, “Splat!”). I know that Carrie was working on a novel, but wouldn’t it be fun if she reversed course, and indeed submitted to working with Enid on a women’s magazine for the 50-plus set? The plot, wardrobe, and cameo possibilities would be endless.
7. Justice for Lisa and Seema
Yes, Lisa is consumed by her work, but perhaps she’d get to do a bit more with the other four principals—she’s been kind of an island on the series. Likewise, Seema—who was just starting to fill the Samantha Jones–shaped void in my life—would get more time with the ensemble. Also, Bianca Jagger would come in to play her cool aunt.
8. Jane and Lily drop by
The Golden Girls and Grace and Frankie—two other shows about women squaring off against the march of time—were relatable without ever feeling depressing. Maybe AJLT’s writers would bone up on those two series—and even get Jane and Lily for guest arcs.
9. Bringing back Berger
If Aidan was fair game, why not Berger? That man had a way with words.
10. Going all-in on Charlotte and Anthony
Now, picture this: Charlotte and Anthony, the only two characters from the original series who have continued to engender reliable goodwill among viewers, got their own spin-off…and brought Patti LuPone along with them.
#Season
